Tuesday, 14 December 2010

A ten-bag goes nowhere these days

The thing about being a caffeine addict is: it's expensive, you don't sleep much, and you're forever waiting for your next fix; that next cuppa is never soon enough. For some people it's smoking, for some alcohol, for others something a little stronger does the job, but me: for me it's a steaming-hot beverage that gets the job done. No sooner has my next pay cheque (well, EMA) hit my account and I'm out flittering it away, shooting cheap espresso in some backstreet coffee shop. If it's not espresso I'm shelling out for,  I'll be out securing my next ounce of leaf, hoping that'll see me through the week; a ten-bag goes nowhere these days. But when the bag hits the cup, you know it's all been worth it, as the familiar aroma of brewing leaves hits your nostrils you feel assuaged, in the knowledge your next caffeine kick is just an arms-reach away. Your trembling fingers clasp the mug, the veins on your arm popping with anticipation, you feel your endorphins hold breath.. And all at once that hot-brewed elixir is cascading over your senses, filling every orifice of your conscience with piping-hot aqueous pleasure...


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. This author shows an extreme over usage of exaggeration in his exceptionally timid début blog entry. This man has clearly received a poor education if he believes that penning 200 words of his caffeine addiction is going to get him even a rejection letter from the local news paper. I strongly believe that he is unworthy of a place at "Birmingham city university" or a certificate for "trying your best" in a competition. The author demonstrates his incredibly pathetic ability in the opening of the text by stating that "The thing about being a caffeine addict is:". By opening his blog entry with such an overused cliché, it forces me to picture him in they eye of my mind. I see a sad depressed man, poring over a shabby, coffee cup littered desk. He clenches his caffeine stained teeth as he ponders his next sentence, dreaming of the critical acclaim he scarcely deserves. To the great misfortune of you and I, no such law prevents this man from forcing the burden of his text onto us and many other innocent internet users. So I ask the democracy that we live in, should we be allowing this man to continue to leave the reputation of English literature in tatters? I'll leave that one up to you.