Friday, 25 February 2011

Abormal proportion

The thing about having massive hands is: handling small objects is a physical impossibility, gloves often leave one's wrists exposed, and said sub-limbs are prone to becoming lodged in many items of apparatus designed for the small handed user: mug handles, scissors, tubes of full of a certain reconstituted-potato delicacy.


I can, of course see the advantages - the ability to measure horses is greatly bettered, they are a useful give away when identifying woman dressed as men, and there is the never ending usefulness of being able to transport vast quantities of materiality from one place to another.


In simpler times, times when you could top your neighbour for stealing your crockery or glancing at your wife, large hands must have proved rather handy in commanding cooperation. A punch with a big fist will sooner have your opponent succumbing to a grizzly end, than one with a petite paw. But what are the implications for the operator of a large hand? Well, for one thing more energy will be used both in transporting the fleshy accessory and in commissioning it for use. For another, the hand in question will accelerate slower and thus be un-nimble and of little use when battling ninjas. Pirates on the other hand are a different story, one where a large appendage at the end of one's harm will prove priceless in not only clasping a sword with great vigour, but making a brisk get away in the elegant style of a flapped amphibian, should things go a little askew.


So, on the one hand, a large counterpart to the feat, present at the wrist, can prove rather handy, as we have seen is the case for those people whom live in utterly lawless societies where casual slaughter with the fist over minor misunderstandings is commonplace, or for the large-handed individual who encounters pirates.
On the other hand, such disproportionate members of one's person can prove clumsy, impractical and of little use in warding off ninjas. So in balance, its a matter of lifestyle that dictates the suitability of capacious metacarpus, but as a general rule of thumb, size does matter.

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