Saturday, 23 April 2011

The Alternative Vote

Well, I'm going to kick off with a poem I actually stole from my other blog - The Pope's Bollox - because I decided it was boarder line good:

If the Alternative Vote
Rocks your boat
This is probably a waste of time
But if you object
To this circumspect
Manner of voting who you don't hate best
Without a hope in hell
For as far
As I can tell
Whether you choose 'yes'
Or you choose 'no'
Nick Griffin's going to steal the show
It costs too much!
Soldiers will die!
Lies, Lies, Lies, LIES!
Nobody knows to vote 'yes' or 'no'
For Cameron and Clegg have muddled heads
One says 'no' the other says 'yes'
But clearly they both love the sex
In this relationship, made in hell
Neither can be trusted well
But to wipe the smile, from Cameron's face
Would make a fine end to the race
So vote for 'yes', if you choose to cast
Cos who doesn't love Cameron finishing last?

I mean let's face it: AV is really incredibly, needlessly confusing, and what with the constant to-ing-and-fro-ing between parties all claiming that AV will bring the country to it's knees before the BNP, whilst simultaneously saving our nation from the grasp of Nick Griffin, it really isn't clear if it's a good idea or not. So my advice would be to:
A. Vote 'Yes'
B. Vote 'No'
C. Flip a coin
Because really, whatever system we have, some people are still going to vote for horrible, misguided parties (just look at our current set up), and if minority extremist parties do get seats they will be held entirely accountable for their actions and challenged as and when needed... But maybe vote 'yes' just to be on the safe side... Or 'no'....

Blogging is quite a lot of effort isn't it? I mean not real effort like trying to explain exactly what it is that happens in Inception, or lugging a shopping trolley full of festival gear up a hill (down a hill). But it is undeniably a quite significant amount of effort. Perhaps if you have no standards and just write whatever the fuck you feel like it's much easier, but I do have standards... Or I did... I used to reserve space on this blog to high-brow musings about everyday occurrences, but gradually I feel I am slipping into the void f the common-all-garden blogger... god (yes, small 'g' even though it's the beginning of a sentence) I sound so pretentious....

Anyway, what's new?

I'm in Wales: it is full of sheep. And hills. There's also some sea; which is nice. 

Music: is good - particularly at the moment:  Ham Sandwhich (actually quite good); The Vaccines (whom I'm listening to whilst writing this, and are obviously excellent); Unoumedude (took me a while to work out how to say the name: 'U NO U O ME DUDE').

Right, well I can't be bothered to 'blog' anything else here, so I'm going to go and write some bollox poetry instead: because that's easy.

Tuesday, 5 April 2011

Bean a while

Well, it's been a while since I wrote anything here, most of you probably suspect I've ODd on coffee, but all is well. I'm but no means cured of my caffeine addiction and I muse no less than I used to; I just don't have the thimbleful of effort required to type stuff here on a regular basis. Maybe I'll make a point of writing more posts. One a day? No. One every other day? Certainly not. One a week perhaps? Maybe.
Anyway, if you've come in hope of some musings, I would hate to disappoint, so:

Coffee is the new sleep: he who said 8 hours is recommended was clearly deluded, you simply cannot waste that much time sleeping every day. 8 is great, but 5 hours and a tankard of coffee will see you through the day. But, be warned: the Coffee-Comedown is a grave thing, I'm talking shivers, shakes, dizziness, and the sensation you're falling from your coffee cloud in the sky to the harsh pavement of reality. The best solution? Ease yourself down with a cuppa. Tea that is.

Also in the news:

The Strokes: are incredible. Apart from Angles. That's shit.

The Beach is an oddly addictive book: featuring a backpacker and a Scottish guy, all that really occurs is that a beach is discovered by the backpacker - who is given a map by a Scottish bloke. Some people live on the beach. The back backer becomes part of their community. Everyone gets high.

And finally: I've started a new blog www.bolloxpoetry.blogspot.com devoted to the art of pretentious, self-important poetry. It's excellent.

Right, time to put the kettle on.